the blue line

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. ~Galatians 5:25

God unpacked more of this truth to my heart the other day in an incident that happened with our sixteen year old.  She was driving across town to a physical therapy appointment, and unsure of the directions, she quickly set her GPS to take her to the office. Since I was meeting her there, I checked her location to see how close she was. I watched in astonishment as her little dot continued to move on a highway in the opposite direction of where she should go, heading downtown when she should be 20 minutes away in the suburbs. Quickly I called her in the car and with great aggravation asked where she was headed. In her defensive answer, God caught my attention. “I’m going exactly where I should! I’m following the blue line, Mom.”

Thoroughly convinced of her path, she had never considered her end goal. She trusted so completely the programming that she never thought to doublecheck that she was headed to the correct location for this office. I confess I did not handle this well in the moments of correction – I was so annoyed and worried about missing the appointment that I absolutely injured her heart and broke relationship as I lectured her on using GPS, maturity in driving a vehicle, etc. (Parenting win) All I could focus on was the thought, “Who does this? Who doesn’t check the end point to ensure that their directions are taking them to the right place? How can you just follow a blue line, content that it must be right?” As I waited for her to drive back the opposite direction to meet me, God kept whispering and nudging me to look inward, to use this physical picture to see with spiritual eyes.

I think that I do this.

So often I look only at the next step in front of me, never considering the end point or the goal. Content in my blue line, in what I can see, never considering whether I have set my course to the right goal, I blithely move through my days. I can race right by the signs that declare my loss of direction. So focused on maintaining my position, I don’t doubt my own programming. The truth is my heart will deceive me more than send me in the right direction. My natural sense of direction is warped, broken, and off course. I will lead myself according to the whims of the world to popular destinations that ultimately will not be for my good.

But God knows my end goal. He is the sovereign navigator.

He knows my path, all of it, the bends and turns, the mountains and the valleys, the vistas and the deserts, and He desires to lead me. We have been given the Holy Spirit as a seal for our salvation to walk with us here and to be our Helper. Jesus emphasized the great gift of the Holy Spirit over and over in John 14-16. Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you (Jn 16:7). But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you (Jn 14:26). And He says walk with Him. Keep looking to Him, and don’t measure your trip the way the world does. His end goal is that I will look more like Jesus, not that I will arrive at success, happiness, popularity, or fortune. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own… But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:12-14) My chief end is to know Him, to enjoy Him, and to glorify Him forever. When I am caught in the swirl of busyness, tasks, worry, or fear, my natural navigation will drive me away from His path.

God wants this focus to be the purpose behind my parenting as well. One of my roles in parenting my teens/young adults is to point to the longterm goal ~ loving Jesus and following Him. Our culture points to self fulfillment in every message but being good, happy, or popular is not the goal. See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ (Colossians 2:8). Often children get stuck, nose down, following the blue line of grades, friends, sports, etc, never readjusting, never looking to make sure they are heading towards the correct goal. They just want to be driving where all their friends are. Sometimes they are so stuck in traffic that they cannot see any way to get out or change course. They may be too afraid to move, to push the gas pedal at all for fear they will be out of control.   This blue line of the world leads to certain confusion, lostness, misdirection. So conversations must be filled with open questions pushing my young adult to shift their eyes from temporal next steps to seek instead the glory and the direction of God. What does wisdom look like on this road? Where do you see God moving? What do you think His purpose might be for this speed bump you keep hitting? Why do you think you are going through the valley? What do you see of His love and care right here on this mountain? The lens of Jesus Christ at work in our lives needs to be the filter, the “blue light glasses” of our lives.

Paul consistently models discipleship in his letters. Repeatedly he exhorts and encourages, pointing to the future when Christ returns seeking to reset their natural tendency to look at the world through “right now glasses.” Our living is not for the moment, we are in the mere beginnings of our eternity.  With gentleness and humility we can correct our children, but I think one of the most powerful messages is affirming the Spirit’s work in their lives as we see them make choices to live for Him. Paul continually reiterates the great joy he has seeing believers walk in faith. He identifies the growth and fruit evident in their lives and intercedes for them in prayer to continue to grow.

If I don’t understand that my chief aim in life is to love God and glorify Him forever, I can never instill this into my children. Living with my eyes fixed on Jesus means I am not focused on the road I travel today. When I live with my eyes on the blue line, I constantly fear coming off, making a wrong turn, somehow misdirecting myself. When my eyes are on Him, I find peace and rest. I can look around, see who is passing by, invest in conversation, and take great joy in the journey because I am not worrying about the navigating.

 

waiting

Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. ~Psalm 25:4-5

We are all in seasons of waiting. As children we long to grow up, we can’t wait to be double digits, to learn to drive, go to college, or gain independence. We wait to fall in love and get married, and then we wait for children. We wait for this promotion or that raise or perhaps even for a better job. We hunger for happiness or fulfillment. We long for joy or hope, thinking it will come with the next event.

Most of my life has been laden with anticipation or preparation for some next event or moment. In my marriage we have waited for seven job changes, 5 moves, 9 pregnancies, 8 brand new babies who don’t sleep, toddlers, potty training, teaching children to read (for me this is always nerve-racking!), loss, prolonged illnesses, promotions at work, the different stages each child grows through, the list goes on. Some waiting is exciting and expectant, but other times it is dreadful and hard.

In the season I am in right now, God has radically redefined waiting. Most of the time I focus on the culmination of my waiting and believe that when the moment finally arrives, all will be good. Rest can occur at the end, and happiness/fulfillment/peace will come. However, the next thing to anticipate always rises.

 God wants me fully in the waiting. The focus of my waiting must shift.  Instead of constantly monitoring and looking for the end goal, measuring how much longer, trying to see how I could make the process speed up, I wait for God.  He has been challenging me to change my perspective, to drop a filter over my eyes and look at Him. Psalms 25 & 27 highlight several portions of walking by faith with God as we wait.

In the waiting comes learning. Just like Mary in front of Jesus, I must sit at His feet, choosing to listen with upturned heart and mind. He teaches His way and His paths, instructing me as I listen to His truth in the Word. (Ps. 25:4,8)

In the waiting, humility is required. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. Who is the man who fears the LORD? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose (Ps. 25:9.12). Conviction of sin will come as I sit before Him, and confession of sin will be needed. But He is so gracious unto me! He pardons my guilt and remembers not my sin, for Jesus Christ paid my sin debt.

When I wait for Him, I am not forgotten. He is very active in the teaching and leading because of who He is in His character. His steadfast love and faithfulness are for His glory. Good and upright is the Lord (Ps.25:8). He is the God of my salvation (Ps.25:5, 27:1). He restores. In some moments, it feels as if He is silent, as if He is not engaged. My heart cries, “Are you doing anything here?” If my focus is on the goal, the thing that I want done, I will often miss His true activity. His commitment is to my heart change, not my circumstance. When my gaze is on Him, He radically realigns my heart despite the pause in circumstantial progress. When my waiting is placed in the one trustworthy place of God alone, then my living becomes about Jesus, and He changes my faith walk.

My soul shall abide in well being (Ps.25:13). So often I place all my attention, all my hope in the accomplishment. My soul strives, works, worries, and wearies. It does not abide. But when my eyes are on Him, I can rest in Him. I am focused on what He is doing both in me and around me and not on the outcome.

Friendship with the Lord blossoms and grows ever deeper. The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. (v14) As I walk in the waiting, I seek Him more. I lean and rest in His promises, His truths, and the counsel of His Word. The truths of His covenant become my lifeline and my plumb line while everything else shifts. He is my ever-present help in trouble, the lifter of my head, the one who makes all things new within my heart, the lover of my soul, the holy one who changes me more into His image everyday. He is my Savior, and He is my friend. His  covenant truths form the gospel. The blessings found in Ephesians 1 come because of Jesus and despite me.

So in the waiting pain, fear, and doubt may come, but rescue and refuge are in Him. I have shed many tears waiting. I have doubted, fought, wrestled, and resented the waiting. And I am sure I will experience many more days in the struggle of the waiting. But He guards my soul. In the waiting there is dwelling. Dwelling in the house of the Lord, seeing His beauty and sitting with Him, this is the one thing that I seek (Ps. 27:4) Often in the waiting, He conceals me by his tent, hides me away in His strong tower, or lifts me high upon a rock, pulling me out of the waves that threaten to engulf. And from that place of safety, learned in the waiting, I can worship with sacrifices and shouts of joy (Ps.27:6)

The more I understand my life is hidden with Christ in God, the more I will trust in His refuge and His design. My confidence will not be anchored into anything I offer. Hope, the calm assurance that His Word is true, grows in His steadfast love. My heart can be courageous  despite circumstances because my eyes are on the great I AM, the one who holds all things together.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! (Psalm 27:13-14)