confidence

But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one. And we have confidence in the Lord about you, that you are doing and will do the things that we command. May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.  ~ 2 Thessalonians 3:3-5

The Lord is faithful. He is faithful in the darkness of life, in the hurt and the questions, He is loyal to you, steadfast in His presence and His work in your life. Oh! My heart rejoices to know He is committed to me. In the spaces I feel alone, misunderstood, or rejected, truly He is engaged.

He will establish and guard you against the evil one. The verb establish indicates to fix firmly, strengthen, buttress, prop or support. His support fixes us, plants us down and gives support to secure us. His goal in establishing us is to plant us solidly to eliminate vacillation. The enemy wants to promote confusion or indecisiveness and make us feel as if we are on unsteady ground.

But He is faithful to establish you.

The verb guard gives the picture of a military guard. Paul paints the picture of the unbroken vigilance of a military guard that preserves and protects. It is a preserving watchfulness or acuity like the uninterrupted vigilance shepherds show for their sheep. So the big picture about this one sentence is that He will plant you solidly and supportively in His truth and watch over you with a vigilance that protects. He will do it. We need to encourage one another with this truth in the walking out of our faith. Encourage your growing children that He is at work establishing them in their faith and guarding them. Speak into your hurting or confused friend – He is faithful. You can trust Him.

Paul then encourages the Thessalonians with a blessing: And we have confidence in the Lord about you, that you are doing and will do the things that we command. His confidence does not center on my actions but on the Lord who will work in me leading me to walk obediently. Why? How does Paul know this with confidence? Everything in me doubts this truth. I shift in my thoughts to outcome ~ what I can prove I do or have done, my resume of obedience, and I know that it comes up short.

But that is not what Paul is saying here. He is not looking at achievements. He is not measuring at all. God is faithful. He will work in our lives, moving us into obedience.

May the Lord direct your hearts – The verb direct in this passage means to go straight down by the most direct, efficient route; avoiding all unnecessary delays, without any undue loss of time or achievement. Pause for a moment and take in that verb. What a prayer for Paul to pray – that by the most efficient route possible without delays or loss of time, God will move our hearts. My confidence in my own walk with Jesus or my children’s journeys must solely be in what God will do and is doing to lead and guide. So where does He direct our hearts? Where does He remove all hindrances in order for us to come?

to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. When I began studying this passage, this seemed obvious – of course He wants me to see how much God loves me, how faithful Christ is to me as I walk with Him. But that’s not what these phrases mean. God will move my heart to love Him more. It’s not His love for me, it’s my love for Him. And again, He will move my heart to be steadfast like Christ – to be patient in enduring and in walking out my days here in the pattern Christ showed.

Once again He is the source.

Once again it’s not my performance, not my summoning up of whatever love I can display or long-suffering I can muster. My confidence comes from Him. The love I have for Him (grown by Him) becomes the filter for my life.

This posture is powerful and freeing. The Gospel begins and ends with what God has done – He set us free from sin and death through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection, He calls us out of our bondage and into new life with Him, and He is at work every day making us more and more like Jesus. We need only to believe, and even in that He grows our faith. With an enemy prowling around seeking to destroy, discourage, or demoralize, these are powerful truths to stand before His throne and pray for myself, family, and loved ones. Our hope is in Him. And He is faithful.

 

parenting with perspective

Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code. ~Romans 7:4-6

Parenting is less about success or failure and more about perspective. Someone asked me the other day what we do to maintain good relationships with our children as they grow and walk. And first of all there have been many and probably will be more seasons when relationships feel strained and tight rather than easy and relaxing. But remembering the Gospel in light of walking with our kids is critical as Troy and I navigate our uncharted waters.

One Gospel truth that I can twist as I parent is the role of the law. The Word declares that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ (Gal. 2:16) and  for since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near (Hebrews 10:1). But I often want to make the law (my rules) paramount and adherence to them indicative of a “goodhearted” child. The truth is this: the law in Scripture and now the law in my home has a 2 fold purpose, and neither purpose is for creating a good person. First the law keeps us safe. It promotes good relationships and safe living.

More importantly the law points to our inability to keep it. Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. (Romans 7:7b) It is an unattainable standard apart from perfection. So when my parenting believes that the law should be perfectly obeyed, I am not speaking Gospel to my child. I am speaking works. But when I recognize the purpose of the law is to illuminate the need for a Savior, I can begin a conversation with the wayward child that includes discipline but points to Jesus. My feelings or reactions about the situation can be neutralized by the truth that sin is against Holy God, not me, and He sent Jesus to redeem this child and turn his heart back. And when God is in the work, hearts turn back to Him and back to parents.

Their actions, reactions, manipulations, or rejections do not need to be personally felt by me. That’s my choice. My insecurities will want to declare my importance in their life. My pride will well up and puff out my chest with offense. My impatience will demand response. My flesh wants in on the action.

I need the Gospel.

I need Jesus. I need to listen to the Holy Spirit’s conviction and respond to Him before I respond to my child. In our flesh we all act contrary to the Spirit. I just rationalize my own sin because I find my child’s sin bothersome or offensive. “It’s ok” to be impatient because they aren’t quick to obey. “It’s okay” to be short tempered because they are rude or dishonoring first. “It’s ok” to be offended because what they say is hurtful.

My role with my child is to mimic the Heavenly Father’s role with them, to be the first picture of what His love, grace, and discipline look like. So before I make a move into counseling or disciplining a child, I need to remember truth, and I need to seek the Spirit’s counsel for my own heart. I need to remember Romans 7 & 8. Take a few moments and reread it. I am reminded that in my own failings my hope is Jesus. My flesh fails, but Jesus delivers. But the law of the Spirit of life has set {me} free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:2) And that truth is THE truth I want my children to hear when it comes to breaking the law. Jesus sets us free! Yes, the law was broken, but Jesus is the only answer. Whether you were mean to a sibling, rebellious  in actions, or whatever else may have happened, Jesus came to remove the sinfulness that you displayed and make you new. Consequences follow sinfulness, but judgment has been settled at the cross. Sometimes I want to stop with the sin and heap condemnation on them, proving points already proven.

As parents we can lead our child to analyze their sin and see the true ugliness of what their heart did or desired, but then we need to pivot them to the One who loves them despite their sin, who died specifically for their sinful heart, and who calls them into relationship with Him. Salvation or sanctification become the conversation and discipleship occurs.

 

 

9 – Great High Priest

`But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent (not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) he entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption. ~Hebrews 9:11-12

The role of priest and the physical temple were central to the Jewish faith in the Old Testament. Established under Moses, the first temple was constructed according to God’s explicit design, and Aaron became the first high priest. We don’t relate easily to the role of priest in the Jewish faith so a good question to ask is why is it such an important concept that the author of Hebrews devotes chapters to explaining it? In the Jewish faith only the priest made atonement for sins – only he was able to declare righteous, to approve sacrifices, receive tithes, and to confirm one’s relationship with God for another week or year.

The most significant sacrifice was on Yom Kippur or the Passover. The great high priest would enter the Holy of Holies to attain atonement (the appeasement of God’s wrath for sin) for all Israel for one year. The holiest day in the holiest location by the holiest individual in Israel – only one could do this act. The priests in the Old Testament were called to serve the people and the Lord. Hebrews 5:2 tells us that the priest can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Servant leadership in action as the greatest leader who must be the most humble.

When we understand the exchange that had to take place – the life/blood of a perfect sacrifice for sin, and that only priests could facilitate that exchange, then we begin to see the completion and perfection of the role of High Priest in Jesus. We had to have not only the sacrifice but also the priest – prior to Jesus Christ, the sacrifice had to be offered continually and never made anyone perfect. For since the law had but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins (Hebrews 10:1,3-4). We were facing the wrath of Holy God. But Jesus became our perfect, all sufficient sacrifice as the Lamb of God. And He walked into the inner place behind the curtain as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever (Hebrews 6:19-20).

Remember, just like the priests of the Israelites, because of his humanity as our high priest, we can come with confidence to find mercy and grace. He is able to sympathize with our weaknesses because He has been tempted but is without sin (Heb. 4:14) And this combination becomes an anchor for my soul in the storms of life and the flurry of lies from the enemy. He is my great Lamb – slain for all my sin as my propitiation to turn away God’s wrath from me. And He is my Great High Priest – seated at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven, a minister in the holy places, in the true tent that the Lord set up (Heb. 8:1-2). He is able to save to the uttermost all of us who draw near to God through Him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. (Heb. 7:25)

vines part 2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ~Hebrews 12:1-2

Why a part 2? truthfully because the Lord won’t let me leave this truth. I am in a season of great threshing or pruning, whichever picture you would like to use. The process is similar – there is a discerning hand at work moving over me, working in me, pulling out of me the things that are not like Him. Discouragement and weariness beckon me, bite at my heels, and whisper to me to just crawl off the floor. Just walk away for awhile, take a break. I wish for a breather, just some moments to catch my breath. My heart aches, my soul trembles a little.

I used to run long mile runs (back before all my kids – now I just run after them and hope it counts as exercise!) and loved the feeling at the beginning of each run, knowing this was my time to think and pray, just looking around in the neighborhoods I loved to run in. Until. Always there was a mile or so in my 6 mile run that was brutal. It wasn’t necessarily the steep run mile or the end of my run, but often the brutal portion was about a mile into my run. My arms would ache, my muscles would feel crampy, my breathing would not be rhythmic, and I would have to work to put one foot in front of another. Now I’m not a “good” or knowledgeable runner – I never read any books or articles about it – I really have no idea why this was my pattern, but it was consistent. And every time I would battle in my mind whether this time I should just slow to a walk, or just turn around and make it a short run. But I learned that if I persisted, if I endured, I would pass through this horrible phase into a gentler rhythm of running, in which I could breathe with ease, enjoy the scenery, and just run. But every time it was a choice to endure. Every time I wondered if I would make it out to the pleasurable place.

The race is set before me. God has ordained a lane in which to run, purposed for His glory and His kingdom work. All of my race is His – the big, the little, special, or mundane – all purposed to change me and grow me in Jesus. In Hebrews 12, the word race in Greek means a contest, a struggle in the soul, a grueling conflict struggle or battle. I’m not running around a track or even cross country – NO! This is an epic battle fought as I press forward.  Maclaren wrote, “By faith we enter the race; through faith we receive His power to run and not be weary but we need to run to advance.” I need to run. Am I in continual movement in this race? Am I walking more deeply with Jesus today than last year, 5 years ago? Growth should be seen, muscles grown – landscapes changing as new obstacles come, new experiences occur to grow deeper in dependency and in faith.

Yet Jesus is the center. He is the faith giver, strength fortifier, lifter of my head. He is the race maker and the race winner. And he promises to lead me out to broad places, to be my refuge in my pantings, to steady my steps, make my bones strong, and make me like a watered garden with abundant springs. So while I am running a mile that feels like torture, He is always with me. He is not only refining me on this threshing floor, He is comforting me and holding me tightly. I choose to praise your name, Jesus.

For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead and guide me. I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.  ~Psalm 31:3,7-8

 

 

the vines

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ~Hebrews 12:1-4

There are vines in my flowerbeds, vines that threaten to choke out the new growth, the established plants, and eliminate the blossoms and fruit that should grow. Interestingly, when I am weeding, I can actively see the vines that entangle the hydrangeas, hostas, and azaleas in my yard. They are obvious and an affront to me. How dare they take over my plants? However when I am just out by the pool, playing with my children, or walking through the yard quickly, my eyes can flick across the green landscape and the vines blend in. They are hard to distinguish sometimes because their tendrils wrap along the stems of the plant, allowing their leaves to lay alongside of the plant’s true leaves. The plant looks thicker, lusher even, at quick glance. As I gaze with intensity at the plants though, I can see the difference in leaves and slowly focus on the vines that wrap around.

Vines will also hurdle over the plant’s true stems, skipping right to the top of the plant, in order to gain the position closest to the sun. Their ultimate goal is not to dwell alongside the plant but to usurp the plant.  Left to their own growth, they will push the original plant down, limiting its new growth and weakening its stems. Whenever I strip the vines off of a plant, I am amazed at how the vines stunt the growth of the true plant causing fewer leaves and little to no fruit or flowers. Finally free of the crippling vine, the plant will begin to thicken and grow again filling in the gaps.

There are sins that entangle my heart, they wrap around my thoughts, crowd my affections and limit my growth. Weights of this world – responsibility, work, care taking – push down on my shoulders, and when coupled with sin, make me weakened, nonproductive, depleted, and bound. So whenever my desire to lead my children well becomes enmeshed with my pride rather than submitted to the Holy Spirit’s work in both of us, I have allowed the vines to grow. Whenever provision becomes about independence rather than dependence on Him, I have begun again to allow vines to shoot up and overtake. And whenever the unknown in the future seems to demand knowledge I don’t possess and I become fear driven and reactionary, the choking vines can block His light, His truth, and His lead.

Hebrews pushes me to remember Jesus. Remember His death on the cross that paid the atonement for me. Remember His position now as victorious King who conquered sin and death, setting me free from the fears, self love, and pride that seek to encircle my heart and drag me down. The struggle against sin is real. It is fierce. It is ongoing this side of heaven. But victory comes from Him!

Sin sometimes is hard to see, it becomes a part of my life and my eyes skim over the lies I have believed. But the Spirit is faithful to convict and teach. He will reveal and refine me as I submit myself to Him. Misplaced weight allows sin to grow. God promises to bear every burden we have (1 Peter 5:7), to provide every need we have (Matt. 7:32-34), to walk before us into every future event (Is. 52:12), and give us the wisdom we need every step of the way (James 1:5).

So let me run with endurance. Steady my feet on Your ground. Strengthen my hands for the weeding with your wisdom and discernment. Enable me to throw off the weights and untangle the sin. Grow in me your fruit. Let my garden display Your glory for Your renown today. You are worthy of all praise!

Do all things

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. ~Philippians 2:14-16

I quote this a lot in parenting, but as I have been studying through Philippians these past few weeks, I am convicted that I may not be leading my kids accurately in the truth of this passage. It’s a convenient quote to get my kids to obey but it’s sadly out of context when I use it as a hammer to stop fussing.

Grumbling – a murmuring; a secret displeasure, not openly avowed. Grumbling is often secretive because we know we shouldn’t voice our displeasure towards the one asking something of us.

Questioning – a reasoning or calculation that is self-based with the fixed mindset that one is right; a hesitation about what is true and disputing from that position. Questioning comes from a place of pride or superiority. 

Holding fast to the word – to hold toward, forth or to present as a light to illuminate; to mark, pay attention to, note or heed.

This verse is an exhortation that follows Paul’s call to be like Christ in humility/position with others. He instructs us to work out our faith because God is doing the work in us – stay committed to Him, submitted to Him. And then the attitude of the heart flows outward as fruit. When we walk with an attitude of superiority or pride, we grumble or question. We wonder what it is we are doing. We yearn for something else, something easier or more palatable. When we walk in humility, we serve and look like Jesus. I cannot simply decide to be humble. I cannot summon up a likeness to Jesus Christ in my flesh. I need to understand His humility.

The call to humility flows through the tunnel of sacrifice. Though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.  Therefore as I am washed in the humility of Christ, as His saving death floods my heart of stone, I too must walk in humility. Andrew Murray in his book, Humility, writes, “If humility is the first, the all inclusive grace of the life of Jesus – if humility is the secret of His atonement – then the health and strength of our spiritual life will depend entirely upon our putting this grace first and making humility the chief quality we admire in Him, the chief attribute we ask of Him, the one thing for which we sacrifice all else.” My pride, my love of self, my sense of self entitlement, must die. And that is very hard. Oh it is easy to say, I am quick to nod my head, yet I embrace myself at every turn.

Grumbling and questioning are merely symptoms of a heart tied more closely with self than with Christ. So what is my hope? How do I loosen the grasp of flesh? Hold fast to the Word of life. Cling to Him and His truth. Let Him illuminate every corner of my heart, root out each pride holdout, and work in me to replace my self love with His love. The more I allow Him to blaze forth out of me, responding with His humility to those around me, the more the world will see Him and not me.

We shine as lights; we look flawless in a world full of flaws. In a world of darkness, we are beacons of light. And the lost will be drawn to His light. The hurting will gravitate.  This is our response to God and the leading of the Spirit. So I also need to be very careful how I wield this verse with my children. The Gospel is central and paramount for a life that does not grumble or complain. How am I communicating Christ to my child? Because what I do not want to do is somehow communicate that grumbling and complaining can be turned off like a spigot. No, they are the very essence of my prideful flesh, and the only power over them is Jesus Christ.

So what is the state of the light that shines within me? Do I complain about where He says go and what He says do? Do I doubt what He says? This is my testimony for this world, either way. So is it “Did God really say?” or is it “Where you go, I will go.”

From Now On

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. ~Colossians 1:9-14

Paul wrote many prayers out in detail for the different churches and people he addressed in letters. This prayer is one that has become a benchmark prayer for me as I pray for my children or friends. Specifically I am praying this for one child who is overseas on mission and one who is serving this summer at a camp as they grow in and walk out their faith. As I studied the passage again this morning and working out exactly what I was praying for and how it applied to each child, I realized that Paul’s emphasis in this prayer is often different from my own. And the Spirit began refining me again. You see if I can confess one thing (if you haven’t yet figured it out from reading other writings of mine), I like to check a box or please others with performance. So the outward display of my actions compared to my heart has always been a refining ground for the Holy Spirit. God is interested in the heart. Period. And Paul prays in line with that truth.

I so often will pray this prayer skipping straight to the part that says walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. Isn’t that what we want for our children? for ourselves? that we would please God, bear His fruit, increase in our knowledge of who He is and all He’s about? But what slayed me this morning was the sentence structure and Paul’s order. You see that’s not what Paul is praying for – those things are products of something else. Looking back into the scripture, Paul prays that they may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding and then flowing from that filling is the walk.

My husband and I have been having on ongoing discussion about how we disciple our children, remaining faithful to the Word and navigating all the different obstacles, storms, and troubles that come. One of the big ditches on this journey I believe is that I can get my equation wrong. I will focus on the walk – the fruit I see or don’t see, the manner in which they walk – is it pleasing?, do they know God more and more?, constantly examining perhaps in minutiae the lives of my children with a measuring stick which I don’t even truly possess.

Oh God forgive me. How often have I missed the great truth – Paul prayed that the church would be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding. So what is that? When I look at the words using a concordance, Paul is praying that they would know with first hand experience God’s preferred will to bless mankind with Christ with all clarity and wisdom as well as a discernment that can apply His gospel to their lives. That was his focus. That was his prayer. That was his mindset. He knew that a life rooted in the Gospel, in what Jesus Christ did to pay for sin and redeem from wrath, will outflow into a life that pleases Him and bears fruit. The Spirit that indwells the heart of the believer will see to that process.

As believing parents we can’t get this out of order. But we do.

We look for the outcome, the results. We wonder about fruit, we perseverate on performance, and we teach our kids that God is after their actions. And truthfully kids can fake it. If they care at all about looking good or not getting into trouble, they can fake good for awhile. But then the church becomes a rule based organization that binds and condemns. Or they just reject it all because they’re honest enough to know they will never measure up. When the truth is we never have to measure up. We never have to have it together.

Speak the Gospel to your children. Teach them the truths of God’s holiness, man’s depravity, Jesus’ sacrifice and redemption, and our great forgiveness. Let their hearts see yours singing the joy that is only found in the freedom of Jesus. Fruit comes from trees planted in good soil. Don’t demand fruit. Tend to the soil.

So I am to pray constantly. Yes, never ceasing just like Paul was committed to doing for the church at Colossae, I will pray fervently that my children will know the heartbeat of God, His will that offers redemption and freedom at the cross. I intercede for them that they will know God’s great forgiveness of their depravity and that they will live their life for Him because they have experienced His great love for them. From now on, I will speak of the Gospel at every turn, pointing to the One who delivers from the domain of darkness and transfers us into the kingdom of Jesus Christ, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins!